The Law of Attraction says that if you think about something, you’ll attract it into your life.
According to this theory, if you think about riches, you’ll attract riches. If you think about happiness, you’ll attract happiness. If you think about friendship, you’ll attract friendship.
Of course, the Law of Attraction doesn’t explain everything. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people.
The Law can’t explain why a two-year-old gets diagnosed with cancer. It can’t explain why innocent bystanders get killed. It can’t explain genocide, slavery or terrorism. But – to be fair – I’m not sure anything can explain why those tragedies occur.
In short: the Law’s not perfect, but it IS an interesting idea.
Stop Thinking About What You Don’t Want
Here’s the fascinating corollary to the Law of Attraction: your brain doesn’t hear the word “not.”
If you think: “Don’t screw up. Don’t screw up.” – you’ll screw up.
If you think: “Don’t get sick.” – you’ll get sick.
If you think: “I’m worried I’ll never earn enough.” – you won’t.
The Law of Attraction says we should think about what we DO want, not about what we DON’T want.
Instead of “Don’t screw up,” try saying, “I’m going to kick-butt!”
Instead of “Don’t get sick,” try saying, “I’m staying in prime health!”
Instead of “What if I’m always broke?,” try saying, “I’ll be wealthy soon.”
In other words – reframe your doubts in a positive light.
Personal development writer Steve Pavlina says he receives e-mails from people “stuck in the pattern of thinking about what they don’t want.”
“If I were to write a template for such emails,” he says, “it would look something like this:
“I’m frustrated that…
“I hate my…
“I can’t figure out …
“I’m stressed about…
“I’m worried that…
“I should be able to… but I can’t…”
These thoughts are counterproductive, he says. “You’ll negate your desires by intending their opposite.”
In other words: Don’t focus on what you want LESS of. Focus on what you want MORE of.
Focus on Abundance, Not Scarcity
Last August I wrote about how diets are more effective if you focus on abundance, rather than deprivation.
Try telling yourself: “I shouldn’t eat sizzling bacon … and fresh-baked cookies … and an ice-cold beer.”
That was counterproductive. Now I’m hungry. What if you said:
“I love multigrain toast … and fresh-caught salmon … and wild blueberries.”
Better, eh? Creating wealth is the same way:
“I shouldn’t rent a bigger home … with high ceilings … and a walk-in closet ….”
Ooh, but now I want it. Try this narrative instead:
“I love knowing I have $10,000 to buy my next car in cash … and $5,000 in an index fund, earning money as I sleep …”
That’s more effective.
Real-Life Examples
The Law of Attraction says that if you focus on the negative, you’ll attract the negative.
This may explain what happened on this website on Monday: I wrote about name-calling, and I attracted more name-calling.
(In case you missed it: On Monday, a few people— people who, to the best of my knowledge, were first-time visitors to this site — left profanity-laced comments saying: “You criticize such-and-such, but you are a #$%&!.”)
I accept responsibility for what happened. I wrote an article focusing on what I want LESS of – I want less negativity. But that article became counterproductive.
I’m going to focus my writing on what I want to cultivate MORE of – more positivity. This world is filled with incredible people doing awesome things. Let’s focus on that.
(Check out these three examples of people living their dreams.)
Final Thoughts
There will be stumbling blocks. Bad things DO happen to good people. Like I said, the Law can’t explain everything.
But there is one thing – and perhaps ONLY one thing – that we control: our thoughts.
And our thoughts are more powerful than we know.
Thanks to Roger Imp and Advertise to Win for the photos that ran in today’s post.
Thanks for writing this. I believe every word of it but sometimes I forget, so it was a great reminder. I have a quote memorized that I used to say all the time when I was having relationship problems: “Nothing has any power over me other than that which I give it through my conscious thoughts.” – Anthony Robbins. Seems fitting.
I love doughnuts….I love doughnuts…..
This piece is exactly why people who say their goal is to “get out of debt” have such a hard time saving. “Get out of debt” isn’t a goal, it’s a roadblock. The true goal is beyond the debt wall.
@AverageJoe — I agree; I think the goal should shift from “get out of debt” to “build wealth.” Step 1 to building wealth is getting out of debt … but that’s just step one! The bigger goal is positive — (to create something) — rather than negative (to get rid of something).
Just thought I’d drop you a comment! I’m a new reader and although I don’t agree with everything you say, I am enjoying your blog
You’ve opened my thinking up to consider a lot more possiblities and a new way of thinking about certain things. Thank you 
@Jen — Hi there! It’s great to hear from you! I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog and that you’re learning different perspectives on different issues. I don’t expect my readers to necessarily agree with everything I say (I love a broad diversity of opinions — and there are no “right” answers in personal finance). I only ask that my readers keep an open mind — and I promise to do my best to do the same.
Thanks for reading, and please keep commenting! Welcome to the Afford Anything community!
Positive outlooks bring positive results, if its your turn,
I received the Planning Calender book today. Thanks.
Its called the power of positive thinking.
Couldn’t agree more and I wish that positive approaches were something that we saw more of in personal finance blogging. Telling people to ‘stop spending’ or ‘cut back’ isn’t always helpful. We should make the most of the positive side of frugalism, rather than making it out to be some sort of self-flagellation.
I love this! It’s so true on so many levels. I never would have thought to apply it to what happened on Monday, but I guess it’s true. I agree with Harri, too. The reason I’m frugal is so I can have more not so I can spend less.
I used to think this was all hocus-pocus… that it didn’t really matter either way, but now that I am starting to achieve some of my goals (because I am focusing on accomplishing them), I am starting to think you are right.
certainly very bad things can and do happen, like those you mention.
but most of the “bad” things that happen most of the time to most of us can be turned into blessings.
I lost my job! and went on to a better one/entrepreneurial venture/new adventure
I took a huge investment loss! and learned a huge investment lesson that will pay dividends for the rest of your life. (assuming, of course, you’re paying attention)
Hi, I’m Sammyleia and I wanted to let you know that I enjoy reading your blog. I found this post very interesting, as I did a Cognitive Bahavioural Course years ago to deal with low self-esteem and other issues, and one of the main things that I learned in the course is that “Should” is a dirty word, and that we need to turn our negative thoughts into positive ones. The course helped me a lot.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for acknowledging that the Law of Attraction has a few holes in it (I think the implication that 9/11 victims brought it on themselves by sending out bad vibrations to the universe has gotten some proponents in trouble). Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich had people picturing piles of money in order to draw it into their lives. The key with all of this is you can’t just think. You have to work too. So picture piles of money, sure… but also write a good business plan. Psych yourself up for wealth…but also think through a good investment strategy. Write “I will get a raise” 10 times if you want…but then you need to go ask for one.
@Laura — Absolutely. The actor Jim Carrey has a great quote that summarizes it — “Visualization works if you work. That’s the thing.You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”